Duke Nukem Forever

Introduction

It’s been a long, winding road, for Duke Nukem Forever. Beginning development approximately a decade and a half ago, it was thought that the much talked-about first-person shooter was never going to see the light of day. In fact, the project became a running joke in the video game industry, as rumors constantly swirled about new developments regarding its status. In the end, Duke spent more time on the shelf, watching bad made for TV movies, than he seemingly did in development. Unfortunately, the final product is evidence of this, delivering a game, which certainly wasn’t worth the wait.

The Game Itself: Our Reviewer's Take

Duke Nukem Forever takes the reigns from Duke Nukem 3D, which was certainly Duke’s best adventure, and a game that I loved. Our titular, cigar-smoking, one-line spewing hero, has been basking in glory for many years after stopping the alien colony’s last digital invasion. He’s the poster boy for bravery, known and respected all around the world. Perhaps this complacency could be seen as laziness, but that’s not the case. The man loves the attention and is making the most out of his immense popularity.

This lengthily delayed sequel begins as the dastardly aliens launch a new attack on our life-supporting planet. Needless to say, it cramps Duke’s style very much, making him take time out from his busy schedule of pinball, beautiful women, talk shows and awards banquets. The hero must save the day again, and it seems like it’s an event this particular one has been waiting years for. The pistol is loaded and the one-liners have been cooking. He’s ready to kick ass and chew bubblegum once again.

During the game’s several hour-long campaign, Duke must venture throughout his beloved city – a fictionally designed version of Las Vegas – taking out every foe in sight. Ever-memorable pig cops and ugly aliens make a return, destined for some bullets to the brain or an explosive finale. It’s classic Duke Nukem game play, with action always speaking louder than words. From the start, the shootouts, gore and lewd content never take a break.

When its incredibly popular predecessor was released, the first-person shooter genre was still in relative infancy. Genre titles were fast-paced and a bit rough around the edges, delivering tons of action without a ton of finesse. Lots of people fell in love with this formula, which is why we still see releases and remakes to this day. The problem is that, unlike some of those resurrected franchises, this one should have remained in its digital grave. Our incredibly vulgar and sexist friend feels out of place these days.

Now, it must be remembered that this game began development well over a decade ago. Back then, the industry was quite a bit different and the available technology was archaic compared to our current standards and capabilities. However, with that being said, I’m of the opinion that Duke Nukem Forever would have been a mediocre release all of those years ago. Its mechanics are rough, marring its included game play set-pieces with controls that fail to work the way they’re expected to. This problem comes into play a lot during two unnecessary aspects of the title: three-dimensional platforming and miniature dune buggy driving. Neither one works well at all, becoming frustrating quickly due to a lack of precision which leads to deadly falls and annoying crashes.

Looking at the entire single player campaign, it’s easy to peg the unnecessary platforming sections as one of its biggest issues. Though, there are so many more. A lack of polish is perhaps the many developers’ biggest mistake, delivering a game that tries to do a lot, but does nothing well. Its gunplay mechanics aren’t too bad, but they’re the only positive in a sea of negatives. Things would have been better if poorly-designed puzzles and mini-games like pool and whack-an-alien were scrapped, in order for more time to be spent on the core experience.

Surprisingly, where Duke Nukem Forever feels the most dated, is not found within its controller-based content. Not at all, in fact. You see; it’s the character and the premise, which really make this alien invasion feel like old hat. The writing is both basic and contrived, featuring dialogue, which is insulting to listen to. I’m all for the medium doing its best to produce well-written scripts aimed at adults, but this is not a good example of that. Female gamers should certainly avoid this game like the plague due to the way their gender is treated with incest and sexuality-driven scenarios.

With all the bad, there is some good. There are hints of what we loved the last time we saw this muscle-bound badass, but his latest adventure feels more like a B-side than a great successor. On occasion, shooting baddies and hearing cheesy one-liners can be enjoyable, but it becomes grating and dull after a while. Even the boss fights are more frustrating and uninspired than need be, becoming forgettable. It’s too bad that these issues, along with the aforementioned control problems, still exist after so many years in development.

In addition to its campaign, Duke’s latest adventure also includes multiplayer. However, it’s a mode with lobbies that resemble a ghost town. This competitive offering delivers incredibly mediocre content that does nothing better than its peers. It works and isn’t absolutely terrible, but it’s far from anything to write home about.